Elder Jepsen - Mission Entry 033 - I Know That My Redeemer Lives

Sorry about the mess-up last week and I'm sorry about it. The computer sessions at the library are EXACTLY an hour and we are only allowed an hour for our e-mail time anyways. When the hour is up at the library, everything SHUTS DOWN WITHOUT FURTHER WARNING and "You'd better be DONE with what you are going to say by then, because THAT'S IT!" So, with barely a few seconds left I sent off my email in hopes that it would get to you. I'm not the fastest typist and it is very limited what I can write within that one hour, all while fighting the additional limitations of the very slow processing speeds of the library computers. Sending these emails can really be a source of stress sometimes as I have to think about what I write at the same time as trying to beat the clock. Sometimes the clock wins. Sorry!

I have quite the special experience to tell you this time around. As missionaries we had the opportunity of attending a special meeting, taught and instructed by a General Authority. One of the Seventies Elder Allen F. Packer, son of Boyd K. Packer, our Senior Apostle was COMING TO OUR MISSION! If that in itself wasn't awesome enough, he would be interviewing a couple of missionaries from our mission! This particularly unnerved us as we had heard of this "Soul Stare" thing, that General Authorities can do. Soon the four of us Elders (that is the full extent of our district) probably sounded more like a small turkey farm, as we all were speculating and debating back and forth on who he might want to interview. We had all but regained our dignity again, when later that evening they phoned us from the Mission Office. The call went something like this:

"RING RING" (and I answered the phone)

-Hi, this is Elder Jepsen
-Hi, this is Sister Naatjes from the office speaking. How are you doing, Elder?
-Doing Good, thanks. Canada's treating us well, as always. How can I help you Sister Naatjes?
-Well I'm just calling on behalf of President Howell to inform you that Elder Packer will be interviewing you 7:50 Friday morning.
-Me? Elder Jepsen?
-That's what he told me.
-7:50 AM?
-Yeees.
-Well... Thank you very much for informing me, Sister Naatjes. I hope you have a good day.
-Don't worry too much, Elder. You sleep well, OK?
-Thank you, Sister Naatjes. You take care.

Needless to say I was completely surprised! The following day I went through a lot of thoughts of what was about to happen, I was going to interviewed by a Seventy! AAARGH!!!

The next morning arrived rather suddenly, as I would rather have had a couple of years to prepare for this situation. In spite of the frightening thoughts of meeting someone that you expect can look right into every last little inadequacy and insufficiency, it wasn't at all that bad.

Elder Packer totally took over the room with his reassuring calm and respectful approach, all while he had this quiet authority about him. He was actually really nice! I know, it sounds as if that was a surprise to me, but I was so busy thinking about meeting a person who has so many qualities that I don't and instead he treats me as if I am the one deserving respect. He didn't give me the "Soul Stare" and if he did, he didn't complain about his findings. Instead I received some excellent advice and reassuring words of counsel. The Holy Spirit testified to me that he was a man called of God and that I would do well in listening intently to his message. Elder Packer also asked me to thank my parents for raising me to be what I am, that I could go on a mission, help me develop an understanding of God's ways and the knowledge that He lives. He really meant it as well. So, THANK YOU! ;)

Next I had an interview with my Mission President, but this was not like most other interviews I have had. I have had problems lately with a lot of things. I've been stressed, tensed up and pulling myself down a lot. I have felt far inferior to my companion and the companions before him, who all have so many excellent qualities! I blame myself a lot for not having their qualities. Why does he teach so much better, why can't I just be as relaxed as him?.. The list just goes on and the whole situation was really dragging me down. This situation has gone on for a while and I just haven't been able to shake it off. I shared these thoughts with my caring Mission President and this is what he counseled me: He told me that I am letting myself become distracted by others and what they can do." He went on to say "Your strength Elder, is not in that area. You have sacrificed a lot, that the others haven't and you are here at a great cost. Your strength is in your spiritual depth, your ability to feel and your ability to love. Remember that! Go to your Heavenly Father, ask for help and start tapping from your great spiritual reservoir."

How great it is at times like this, to know that my Redeemer lives and that I can bring my worries, needs and gratitude to Him. I have so much to be grateful for.

I only have four minutes left and I'm sorry I can't squeeze any more in here. My goal is with the help of my Father in Heaven to find or realize the strengths that He has in store for me, to hear and follow His wishes and directions that I can offer Him my best effort and be the missionary that He intended for me to be. I know that God loves me and cares for me as He cares for everyone that we teach while here.

I thank you also for helping be what I am, that I can stand for what I believe in and accomplish the heights I need to reach for in life. I love you all and thank you Eric for your words. You are awesome!

Love you all. Toodles!

Elder Jepsen